Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Thanks Adderall



Much to my dismay, I did not inherit the alcoholic gene.  I am the cheapest drunk known to man.  Two glasses of wine, and I will pass out like the dead…make it 3, and I have borderline alcohol poisoning.

My fellow Dums got it.  They can drink me under the table.  A typical night with them usually ends in one (or both) of them screaming that I am a giant vagina.

But then along came Adderall.  It is the miracle drug for leveling the playing field between drinkers and pretenders.  Bring on the Paloozas!  I am ready.

Love,
Tiffany

10 comments:

  1. Noods,
    I could not have described you any better. You were always the big Va J J of the gang, and now you can seriously hang! Thanks GOD for "ADD". Now, get your kids to the doctor straight awawy to be fake diagnosed, so you can stock up. I may have to grab some from you!

    Love,
    Katie

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  2. Oh..and by the way,
    You are welcome.

    Love,
    Katie

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  3. omg, we are twins!!!! I just discovered 5hr energy and I totally won the title of Best in Crack Hooker Bunny at the rave last Friday. I even had some of the biggest drug dealers in LA coming up and asking what I was on and could I "help" their cause. I had one 5hr Energy and two shots of really good tequila. I sooooo earned that tiara. Even Kirk followed me to the bathroom trying to catch me out... he finally just said f'it and took one too and we had the best time! We were home by 2:37am and I was asleep by 2:50am.

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  4. Love you on vitamin A. I wish I could get a fake diagnosis but I'm too afraid of doctors. I feel like they will call the cops on me or something.

    Love,
    Kristen

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  5. Kyle! I love it. Can I please see a picture in your tiara?

    Kristen, Come to California, I'll refer you to a doc.

    Love,
    Katie

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  6. Or you might get cancer...

    Love,
    Tiffany

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  7. Let's see, I won three just this weekend. How do I upload the pic?

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  8. I'm going to email you an email for you to send them to...and then I can post them as a post!
    Love
    Katie

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  9. Noodle, I have one brewing about my hypochondria.

    Love,
    Kristen

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