Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Fall/Winter fashion notes

I have always had a toe in the grandpa style fashion pool but this Fall I dove straight in.  My new favorite jeans look exactly like my dads' Levis.  I have mens' Wallabies on my feet.  With socks possibly showing.  Add to that the huge cardigans and quirky hats and I'm like a Walter Matthau impersonator.

I have this exact outfit


P.S. Sorry Katie

Conversations in Crazytown

Just when you think you have nailed down the crazy one in the family.  This happens.

Jack:  Mommy I took a pregnancy test in Health.

Me:  And?

Jack:  I'm pregnant!

Me:  I'm going to be a grandma?

Jack:  Yes.  And he's going to stay in the shed.

Maisy:  Jack he should stay in the basement.

Jack:  Maisy, I didn't ask you.

Maisy:  I'm just saying.  It's warm down there and it's bigger...

Jack:  Mom!

Me:  Maisy stop.  It's Jack's baby.



Thursday, August 4, 2016

Conversations in Crazytown

Lulu:  Mommy I'm never going in the ocean.

Me:  Why because of the clinging jellies?

Lulu:  No there's this other kind..

Maisy:  They're called Portuguese Man Whores.

Me to myself:  That can't be right.

Lulu:  Man o' Wars.


Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Conversations in Crazytown

Me:  Maisy I am cutting your nails tonight otherwise people are going to think you are a weirdo.

Her:  Mommy!  I prefer the word whack-job.

Ten minutes later...

Me:  When I said you were a weirdo what did you say?  I want to post it and I forget.

Her:  I didn't say anything.

Me: Yes you did!  Wait....Oh!  Whack-job!

Her:  Oh, right.  I thought I just thought it.

Me: No, you said it.

Her: Oh.


A dog says what now?

I love our dogs to bits but Tikkanen, the puppy, has a bark that makes my ears ring.  And barking is his way of communicating, whereas Zimmer will stare at me and then tap me with his paw and walk over to whatever it is he wants.  His bowl or the door, etc.  It's all very civilized.  The other day my husband and I made a list of reasons that Tikkanen barks.  Here it is.

No people
The tops of stairs
The bottom of stairs
When no children are crying
When you take him where he barks to go to
Being awake
When you walk
When you are happy
Ghosts (fair enough)


Saturday, June 11, 2016

Oh Grace

Have you seen this?  I can't stop watching.


Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Dog bullies are real

My friend does not like dogs and it's not that she's afraid of them they just annoy her.  And she can't with the mess.  She is the kind of person who if you instagram a cute pic of your puppy will comment "he still poops on your dining room rug".

The other day she came over and when she was leaving she said to my two pups, "Bye dorks".  I was in the other room so she wasn't even saying it for my benefit.  I thought it was a bit harsh but blew it off until we got to my neighbors house and she said to their bulldog "Hey fatso."  That was it for me.

Me:  You are a dog bully!

Her:  What?  He's fat and your dogs are dorks.

Me:  (closed eye head shake trying not to smile/encourage her) That is so effed up.

Her:  Fine.  Byeee dogeee.

Me:  Ok, that was fake.  He knows you don't mean it.

After a shrug and an eyeball roll she breezed out in her pristine outfit, got in her pristine car and left me in a cloud of dog hair stuck to dog slobber stuck to my self righteousness.


Thursday, March 17, 2016


I was never a Jonas Brothers fan but I LOVE DNCE.  I heard this live on Z100 one morning a few months ago and have been meaning to post it.

The drummer on a turned over trash can?  Only one stick?  That badass guy with three fingers on a children's keyboard?  Everything that gorgeous girl does with a guitar?  KAZOO???  Stop it.


Conversations in Crazytown

The kids have been doing chores that rotate weekly as one of my New Years resolutions.  For them.  This week Jack has empty the dishwasher and put away the groceries, among others.

Jack:  I feel like what it's like to be a mom.

Me:  Not as easy as it looks, right?

Jack:  I thought it was just watching mystery shows and folding laundry.

Me:  I love you Jack.

Jack:  I hear that a lot.


Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Why? Wednesdays

So the duster is making the rounds.  It's a long coat made out of chiffon or another light fabric that does not keep you warm.  I think Stevie Nicks invented it but Kim Kardashian brought it back to balance out her pregnant belly and hide her ass.  But her ass is her thing so why?

Now it's Kendall Jenner and my personal favorite Chrissy Teigen and I can't help but think maybe this duster business is something I need to get behind.  But I can't.  Dusters are stupid.


WTF Wednesdays

You know what I like to do before I workout?  Put on black pantyhose and leather shorts.