Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Dog bullies are real

My friend does not like dogs and it's not that she's afraid of them they just annoy her.  And she can't with the mess.  She is the kind of person who if you instagram a cute pic of your puppy will comment "he still poops on your dining room rug".

The other day she came over and when she was leaving she said to my two pups, "Bye dorks".  I was in the other room so she wasn't even saying it for my benefit.  I thought it was a bit harsh but blew it off until we got to my neighbors house and she said to their bulldog "Hey fatso."  That was it for me.

Me:  You are a dog bully!

Her:  What?  He's fat and your dogs are dorks.

Me:  (closed eye head shake trying not to smile/encourage her) That is so effed up.

Her:  Fine.  Byeee dogeee.

Me:  Ok, that was fake.  He knows you don't mean it.

After a shrug and an eyeball roll she breezed out in her pristine outfit, got in her pristine car and left me in a cloud of dog hair stuck to dog slobber stuck to my self righteousness.