Thursday, July 11, 2013

At least there's that

Tonight we had Breakfast for Dinner! and just as I'm taking off my apron and shutting down the griddle my son asks for more bacon.

Me:  Ugh.  How much more are you thinking?
Him:  A hundred.
Me:  I'm thinking four.
Him.  Ten.
Me.  Two.
Him:  Okay four.

Wow, that was easy.

I texted my husband about it.

We all have our thing.


Kiss Me Tyrion

If you know me intimately enough, you know one of my dirty little secrets:

For a long while, since about my early 20's to be exact, I developed achonroplasiaphobia. (Fear of midgets).  This shit is legit.  You start sweating, shaking and can go into a panic attack.  It doesn't make any sense and I can not pinpoint why it started.  The one comfort is that I actually know someone else who has this! My ex-brother-in-law.

Anyway, Chelsea Handler had been the pioneer of my overcoming this phobia, as I love Chuy.  But the newest little dude on the scene that has stolen my heart  is Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage...the name Dinklage is too much).   Not only do I feel free from the phobia, I would like to make out with him.  He may make me have a Little Person fetish, although I think it may be specific to him.

I really want to be in the House of Lannister, or rather I'd like him in my "house".  Damn.

If you haven't started watching Game of Thrones, get a few bottles of scotch, clear your weekend and do a marathon.  You won't be sorry.

You are welcome.


p.s.  Peter Dinklage looks like one of Dummy's ex boyfriends

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Sad state of our hairs

I had a haircut a while ago and Katie was there to witness.  It was my first cut in maybe a year so I was hoping it would be a great sassy change.  It wasn't.  Katie was particularly horrified.  She said,"I would cry if I didn't know that your hair will be down to your boobs again in three months."  Let's hope.  In the meantime it's up in a pony and I'm down $300.  Haircuts are stupid.


PS this is Katie before she had it all chopped off.  We both had issues.

I'm not judging

This could happen to any of us.  You are going out drinking with your gay friends.  You are on your period.  Maybe that's why you choose the black thong.  And you just assume that you will remember to tuck in the string and pull down the liner on your completely see-through dress after your final pee of the night.  And then this happens.  Ultimately it just comes down to bad planning.  My sincere sympathies, Brandi Glanville.  And a warning to us all.



 It would seem that I have arrived very late on the Tosh.0 bandwagon, but better late than never.  This guy has taken funny to a whole new level for me.  I can be coaxed into a chuckle fairly easily, but this sexy beast has me scream laughing on such rapid fire that I have to pause the effing program and go back.

 If you haven't seen it, the premise is simple enough, they scour the internet for fucked up clips or stupid/funny clips and then he dissects them.  He comes up with names like "Chow Fung Fat Ass" and is deliciously UN P.C....what a relief.  There is no group immune to his ribbing.  They also hunt people down to do skits with them that never fail to deliver.  He can even make my love interest laugh ....hard (The Love interest generally sits stone faced at people that try to be funny or think they are funny)
If only I had an ounce of clever, I would try to do a viewer's video for him.  Or just do something messed up enough on youtube that he would fine me.

I love you Tosh.


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Red Red Red Red Red Red Redneck

Now I know that I have mentioned before but I'm nuts for Blake Shelton.  

It seems fitting that I bring it up again as I am in London.  I find myself waking up either humming "Boys Around Here" or "Sure Be Cool if You Did".  I also find myself, (saying under my breath as I'm walking around), " red red red red red red red red redneck".  

He makes me want to get with a red red red red redneck. 

Chew tobacco chew tobacco chew tobacco SPIT!