Mind Your Manners Monday Part 1

Today I will focus on the complete lack of manners at the gym.  No, I’m not talking etiquette… I don’t give a hoot which fork you use at the dinner table.  I’m talking simple politeness.  If you were raised by gorillas, with little human contact, please take note:

1  Smile - Why are you so fucking grouchy?  It's 70 and sunny in LA all the time.

2  You are an asshole if you hold up traffic and wait for the closest parking spot AT THE GYM.

3  Don’t guard the machines like a jealous girlfriend between sets.  Being possessive with a machine (much like being possessive with a boy) will not keep it from doing sets with another hot girl at a later time.

4  When you put the treadmill incline at 10 but hang on to the handlebar for dear life, the net is zero.  You’re not fooling anyone.

5  Do not paint the gym with your disgusting butt air.  As we are all sucking wind, swallowing your rotten eggs makes everyone grouchy.  (Oh, I guess that's why number 1 can be so difficult.)

6  If you are over 50, put on a towel in the locker room.  The aging process is depressing enough.  I don’t need a high definition reminder of how my boobs and ass are going to look in a few years. 

7  The gym is for working out.  The bars are for socializing.

8  Before you get in the pool, take off your bandaids.  Do you really think they’re going to make it through 40 laps?

9  Don’t hover over the toilet and splatter your pee pee all over the seat.  You are way more likely to catch a deadly disease from picking up the filthy hand weights that have never been cleaned than by placing your hamstrings on a toilet seat that is sanitized EVERYDAY.

Ahhhh.  That feels better.

Love,
Tiffany

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