Monday, July 2, 2012

TomKat went splat

Dear Tom and Katie, Thanks for crushing my dreams of creepy, fake love that can last forever. I thought you were different. I thought Scientology and couch jumping would make it all real. You are dead to me. Love, Tiffany

Dear Katie, Kudos to you for keeping that going for five years!  Do you have to keep Suri or can you give her back like Nicole?  Cause she seems like kind of a pain in the ass.  Love, Kristen

Dear Everyone,  No one has to give anyone back as Tom has never fathered a child. Why? Because he doesn't like to put his Wee Willy Winky in lady's bits.  However, if he is looking for a new beard, I'm up for the job if he'll make me a movie star.  Love, Katie

1 comment:

  1. I don't know what you ladies are talking about. They clearly were very much in love like normal people...I mean, don't most men bring in their future wife as a business meeting to see if she will be a good Baby Mama and PR Wife? And duh, they got married, had sex once and brought their child into the world together. I'm sure they just grew apart as people do, you know, she wanting him to be home more, him wanting her to cook more. Totally like middle America.