Sunday, July 12, 2015

Let Your New Life Begin Call 1-800- Get-Thin

After my recent bout of plastic surgery, (I'll update you all on of that later) I was down for about 6 weeks.....something like that, I can't be sure.

Anyway, you can't exercise because it raises your blood pressure, so instead I filled that time with cheeseburgers.  I put on exactly 15 lbs from the time of the surgery. They were baffled....almost impressed.  Like, how in the HELL were you able to pack on the pounds like that.  I blew up like a f*#king tick.

He told me I needed to take the weight back off for true results but not to freak out.  So, I've been going the healthy route: exercise, clean eating and of course, martinis.  I've dropped 10.  It's not happening fast enough. (Being over 40 sucks balls)

Perhaps it's time to throw in the towel and see if I can get a lap band.  I've seen it work wonders on some friends.  (Will they do that for 5-10lbs?)


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