Wednesday, April 15, 2015


I take Uber everywhere. All of the time. And I love it. Think its genius. But I still have those moments when I'm thinking, " wow this could go horribly wrong." 


Uber driver:  What is your address?

Me:  Don't you already have it?  I sent it with the request.

Uber driver:  Yes.

Me:  Then just go there.

Starts driving, clearly high.

When we get to a 2 mile straight away, he keeps stopping at green lights.

Me:  Um, it's green...go.

Uber driver tries to take a right down murder alley.

Me:  What are you doing?  We have 2 miles to go on this road before you take a right on Estes, you do know I know where I'm going, right?

Uber driver:  No response

At this point I call Dummy for a witness.

Me:  So where are you from?

Uber driver:  Haiti.

Dummy(on the phone):  Did he just say Haiti?  I'm thinking hatey.  Make him spell it.  Do you have your taser?

Feeling sympathetic, I ask how long he has been here....

Uber driver: 20 years.

What is your take on this people?  Murderer? (that is what I am leaning toward).  Or just massive stoner that has never picked up the lay of the land in the short 2 decades he has been here?  Either way,  I think the lesson is:  Don't let your guard down in an Uber.  And always always bring a taser.



  1. Replies
    1. Ha. It actually was....and slightly hilarious because I lived.