PPV Movie Review Installment #2

Movie: The Paperboy

Starring: 

*Nicole "I totally want this hairdo" Kidman (p.s this is the best she's ever looked to me)

*Matthew "I keep getting grosser and grosser with age" McConaughey

*Zac "I'll never be sexy or manly" Ephron (he makes me fall asleep whenever he comes onscreen)

*David "Sexual Chocolate" Oyslowo

but most importantly:

*John "I have loved you my whole life...what the fuck have you done" Cusack

and

*Macy "you are so cool but not the best actress" Gray

It was a mash up of Precious, Boogie Nights, High School Musical and a dash of demented Say Anything.

What happened Lee Daniels?  I applaud you for putting cool musicians that you don't expect to be in a film in your films....but that doesn't carry it.

For real, I have absolutely no idea what this film was about, but I'm certain is was about 1 hour and 47 minutes too long.

Your welcome,

Katie

Perhaps I'm Old Fashioned (or Wish I Were)

So, my sister Amy went out on another date tonight.  This super amazing catch informed her he hadn't been in a bar in 15 years. (that is a deal breaker for us) and at the end he said, "it's my treat."

Thanks Snackie....if you ask a girl out it's ALWAYS your treat.  Women's Lib has effed us all.  Whomever put women in the workplace should be strapped up.  Gloria Steinem can kiss my grits. Whatever happened to staying home, taking valium, drinking martinis and vacuuming, scratch that....paying the help to vacuum and sort out your kids. ( I guess they still do that in L.A.)

They had it right in the 50's and 60's.

Love,
Katie

p.s.
Having a purpose is overrated.  If I could come back as anyone, it would be Mary Crawley.

PPV Movie Review

Movie: Savages

Starring: No one I give two shits about....let me look it up on IMDB again..standby

Oh
Blake "I'm hot but boring" Lively

Arron Taylor-"I'm the only sexy thing about this film" Johnson

and

Taylor "I should have never left FNL" Kitsch

All I wanted out of the gate was for them to ice Blake Lively.  She was a snore and I wasted two hours of my life on this crap. Selma Hayak snore.  And this is the only time in my life where I would say Benecio del Toro SNORE.

Oliver Stone- FAIL

You're Welcome,
Katie

My Sister Says Some Funny Crap

love,
Katie

Preventive Parenting

Hannah, Rachel, Mary-Paige and Jed

Being that I have no children, my eyes are being opened to all sorts of experiences living with my sister Amy.  She has four beautiful children and they are all lovely and polite and darling to me.  But from what I understand, teenagers and young adults can occassionally just grunt at their mothers in lieu of answering....and like anyone you live with, she gets on their nerves and probably vice versa.

Anyway, a couple of times I've overheard Amy trying to engage one of them.  Either for a "snuggle" or just a quick conversation.  When they deny her or just grunt at her she has said, " Okay! Well in your future counseling sessions don't ever say that I never talked to you or never tried to snuggle!"  She says it with such enthusiasm and cheerfulness it makes me laugh out loud.

Not surprisingly, they just grunt.

(Insert grunt here),
Katie

EEEEEEEEEEKS!

There was a mouse in the garage.   My nephew set up a bunch of those. 

The mouse has run into the arms of Baby Jesus.

Sorry mouse, you were cute.

Love,
Katie

Click uuuuuuuuuuuuu (sound of a line going dead)

The dating world is such a bizarre one (for single people, it seems married folks have no problems finding people to date)  My sister recently accepted a date request from a seemingly nice enough guy.  Things were going great until the "where" came into play.  She suggested a placed called Red Rock.  Lovely, cool, upscale...great bar etc, etc..  He replied with his suggestion.....CHILI'S.  No, I'm not kidding.  Fucking Chili's.  The date is over before it will begin.

Chili's? Really? Seriously? 

Love,

Katie

p.s. because Amy finds the sunny side in everything, she'll go enjoy a top shelf margarita and some chips and salsa before she lowers the boom on him