Spanx for everything

Sara Blakely, you are my hero.  By helping women look and feel better about themselves, you have become Forbes youngest female billionaire.  Yay you!  There's not a self-respecting gal in America who doesn't fancy your undergarments from time to time.  When Spanx was finally added to the smoke and mirrors arsenal of make-up, hair dye, teeth bleaching, botox and spray tans, we all breathed a sigh of relief and headed to Fat Burger.  Bravo.

Love and Lady Crushes,

Tiffany

I'm so so hungry

Suzanne Collins wrote three spectacular books that they have made into films.  I'm sure, if you have even been half-paying attention, you've noticed.  

The Hunger Games is about to come out...and I'm in  a dither like a hormone-infused tween.

HOW MUCH LONGER????

Love,
Katie

p.s. I love you Cinna

Manning up Kansas City

The idea of the Kansas City Chiefs acquiring Peyton Manning is enough to get my panties in a bunch. How many ghastly seasons have I flown back for games only to have my heart broken? Not only does he rock the casbah as a QB, he is funny and sexy as a Pixar character.

I love you KC Chiefs. I love you Peyton Manning.
Please make sweet love together.

Love,
Katie

Woes me...

http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/perspective_on_motherhood_the_invisible_woman.html

Nicole Johnson... yawn.  Lady, your kids don't need to build a shrine for you, because you are building one for yourself.  Motherhood martyrdom is so boring.  You're hoping your adult children will want to come home for Thanksgiving to eat your fabulous, self-sacrificing food and wipe it from their mouths with an ironed napkin?  I'm hoping my grown-up kids will want to come home for the holidays because we will all sit by the fire, laugh, play cards and tell stories.  I guarantee you that they will want to come home because there is more love in my home than there are people to give it to...not because I lost all sense of self the second I became a mother.  And if your husband ignores you at a party, it's likely because you have been ignoring his requests for some adult conversation and fun ever since your kids came into this world.  You teach people how to treat you.  And you teach your kids the way they expect to be treated when they become parents.  Well done.  Having to choose between being a mother and being a respected and wholly fulfilled human being is completely baffling to me.

Love,
Tiffany

PS  I haven't showered today, and I am wearing 3-day-old yoga pants, flip flops and my husband's 8th grade football t-shirt.  But I also know it's a choice.  Just like when you choose to have your hair smell like peanut butter.  You're such a drag.

Fifty Shades of what is going on here?

My friend texted me a while ago to order a book called Fifty Shades of Grey on iBooks or Kindle.  She didn't really expand, just said it would be a fun distraction.  I tried for a minute but couldn't figure out iBooks on my phone (not that smart).  A while later we were talking and she said she had to finish the book she was reading.  I thought she was talking about our book club book and said, "Oh isn't that book horrible?"  She said, "No, not that book, I'm talking about my cliterature."  HA!  That may be the best hybrid word since shoptailing.  Well, I figured out iBooks immediately.  And after mentioning it to a few people I found out that this kind of twisted but in a fun way trilogy by E.L. James is sweeping the nation, one suburban housewife at a time.  Everyone I've talked to who has read them says that they 100% are having more sexy times with their husbands.  They are sexting, leaving parties early to love it up, skipping dessert.  So, I thought I would pass that along to you.  Cliterature.  Go on and get it (on).

Love,

Kristen

Can someone introduce me please?

I love the Barefoot Contessa.

She is so soothing and smiley. I want to snuggle into her ample breast and eat her decadent risotto. (Stop with your pervy minds people. Risotto is not code for anything.)

Who wouldn't want to breeze into her East Hampton estate and gain 50lbs?!

Feed me woman, feed me.

Love,
Katie

Seems as though my petals have lost their dew

Fresh flowers in my sweet cubby-like apartment always add a splash of cheer:

Until day two (insert the wah wah wah wwaaaaaaah sound):

Where can I get plastic surgery for my flowers? They are too young to look like this. Do you suppose they would respond if I crushed up some Adderall and added it to their water?

Love,
Katie