Buffalo Knuckle?

When Mariah Carey's stylist allowed her to go onstage in that gnarly camel toe jumpsuit not a soul let it slip by.

Then cut to:

My new boyfriend, Luke Bryan, starts wearing the skinniest jeans I have ever seen on a man.

Now, he is sexy as all get out....but my quandry is with the lack of a buffalo knuckle.  For those of you that do not know what this is...it's the equivalent of a camel toe on a dude.  It's usually a dodgy ball split. There will be cock and one ball on one side and just a ball on the other. (Unless you are Lance Armstrong)

Where in the hell are his nuts? Where is his pee pee?

LUKE I LOVE YOU...WHERE IS YOUR PEE PEE????  You must have some teensie nuts, but I still love you.

Actually I love you more as huge nuts are a turn off.

Love,
Katie

Warden?

I so wish I had written this.

http://keep0smiling.blogspot.com/2013/08/10-ways-living-with-toddler-is-like.html?m=1

I don't even have a toddler and it's still 100% true.

Love,
Kristen

In the Nick of Vine

You know you are getting old when all you use is Facebook.  My nieces and nephews have alerted me that it's for "old people".  Just when I feel like I've become an aficionado at something, they pull the rug out from under me.  Thus, this brings me to Vine.

There is some funny ass stuff on there.  My vines pretty much blow, but follow my ass anyway:
 vine://user/933970613108899840

Okay, now that I have literally just started getting my freakishly small head around vines, I'm told that now it's all about Instagram.  WTF?  SERIOUSLY???  I hate everyone.....but I'm on there.... so follow my ass anyway on that shit too:  KATHERINEMORGAN2013   (stupidest handle ever)

I think my favorite filters are EarlyBird and Amoroso or some shit like that.

If someone tells me there is some new fucking app I have to start posting to...I will cut them.

Love,
Katie

Shine on!

Set your DVRs people!  After Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, I thought I could never be satisfied again....then I stumbled onto Moonshiners.

With gems like Tim and Tickle:

Tim is in the hat, Tickle is driving...totally sober

Jim Tom:

He and my mom have the same dentist

and Mark and Jeff:

Although they look totally normal, when they speak that goes away

I may just pack up the Audi and head for the hills in North Carolina.  They are producing some quality shit.

You are welcome.

Love,
Katie

At least there's that

Tonight we had Breakfast for Dinner! and just as I'm taking off my apron and shutting down the griddle my son asks for more bacon.

Me:  Ugh.  How much more are you thinking?
Him:  A hundred.
Me:  I'm thinking four.
Him.  Ten.
Me.  Two.
Him:  Okay four.

Wow, that was easy.

I texted my husband about it.

We all have our thing.

Love,
Kristen

Kiss Me Tyrion

If you know me intimately enough, you know one of my dirty little secrets:

For a long while, since about my early 20's to be exact, I developed achonroplasiaphobia. (Fear of midgets).  This shit is legit.  You start sweating, shaking and can go into a panic attack.  It doesn't make any sense and I can not pinpoint why it started.  The one comfort is that I actually know someone else who has this! My ex-brother-in-law.

Anyway, Chelsea Handler had been the pioneer of my overcoming this phobia, as I love Chuy.  But the newest little dude on the scene that has stolen my heart  is Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage...the name Dinklage is too much).   Not only do I feel free from the phobia, I would like to make out with him.  He may make me have a Little Person fetish, although I think it may be specific to him.

I really want to be in the House of Lannister, or rather I'd like him in my "house".  Damn.

If you haven't started watching Game of Thrones, get a few bottles of scotch, clear your weekend and do a marathon.  You won't be sorry.

You are welcome.

Katie

p.s.  Peter Dinklage looks like one of Dummy's ex boyfriends

Sad state of our hairs

I had a haircut a while ago and Katie was there to witness.  It was my first cut in maybe a year so I was hoping it would be a great sassy change.  It wasn't.  Katie was particularly horrified.  She said,"I would cry if I didn't know that your hair will be down to your boobs again in three months."  Let's hope.  In the meantime it's up in a pony and I'm down $300.  Haircuts are stupid.

Love,
Kristen

PS this is Katie before she had it all chopped off.  We both had issues.