Why? Wednesdays

So the duster is making the rounds.  It's a long coat made out of chiffon or another light fabric that does not keep you warm.  I think Stevie Nicks invented it but Kim Kardashian brought it back to balance out her pregnant belly and hide her ass.  But her ass is her thing so why?

Now it's Kendall Jenner and my personal favorite Chrissy Teigen and I can't help but think maybe this duster business is something I need to get behind.  But I can't.  Dusters are stupid.

Love,
Kristen

WTF Wednesdays

You know what I like to do before I workout?  Put on black pantyhose and leather shorts.

Love,
Kristen

Conversations in Crazytown

Lulu, A Dog and Jeff

Maisy has named all of the pets in our house.  There is Jerry the Betta fish.  Our two Guinea pigs Carlos and Bruce.  She has even renamed Zimmer.  We all mostly call him "A Dog" now.  As in "do you think A Dog is going to like his new food bowl?"

So it was really no surprise when this transpired.

Me:  Maisy, do you think it's bad luck to name our fig tree..

Her:  Jeff.  Wait, what were you saying?

Me:  Nothing.

Love,
Kristen

Genius winter item

Why has it taken so long for me to find the sleeveless sweater?  I've looked for years and when I finally found it I ordered five for obvious reasons.  It keeps your core warm.  It looks cute under coats.  It doesn't add arm bulk.  I broke out my first of the season today and Maisy said, "Mom you are rocking the Duggar look".  That messes with my mojo for sure but I still like the practicality of it.....aaaand my mojo just took it's last breath.

Love,
Kristen

Conversations in Crazytown

Me:  Today is the last day of the circus.  And guess what?  You can ride elephants.

Maisy:  Real ones?

Me:  Yep.

Her:  Can you feed them Mexican food?  Cause that is like number one on my bucket list.  Feeding an elephant Mexican food.

Me:  (internal voice: why does it always have to go like this?)  Anything specific?  Nachos?

Her:  I was thinking rice and beans.

Love,
Kristen

Smell like your season

Fun fact.  I like a seasonal scent.  And the more obvious the better.  Lavender in the summer.  Pine in the winter.  Right now is prime Campfire! season.  And I try to coordinate the smelly things in my house like diffusers and candles and dish soap.  So I've compiled a list.  Here, my friends, is Campfire!

Candle - Diptyque Feu de Bois (all you really need - nails it)
Kitchen soap - Caldrea Plum Bergamot Clove (Amazon sells it and it's amazing)
Perfume - Jo Malone Wild Fig and Cassis (the personal scent equivalent of Feu de Bois)

The Olsen twins just look like a campfire would smell.  Smoky, wooly, slightly damp.

Love,
Kristen

My spirit animal

When I got the CB2 Lenny Kravitz catalog I almost wet myself.  I have had a hardcore lifestyle crush on LK since 1991.  He was the cassette tape soundtrack to my European backpack summer trip.  It was me, my college roommate and LK on the walkman.  We laughed.  We cried.  We shared earbuds.  We were robbed on the sleeper train between Barcelona and Marseille.  But that is a story for another time.

It is now 2015 and I am no less in love with the idea of being LK.  I don't even care that he recently split his leathers and showed us his *Sunday dinner.  I want it all.  The hair.  The piercings.  The tats.  The booties.  Everything in his fake apartment.

Yes, Lenny.  I'm going to go your way.

Love,
Kristen

*meat and two veg