Giving is a sliding scale

Once upon a time there was a man who needed a kidney transplant and his brother in law (let's call him my brother Rick) volunteered to give him one.  The End.

This tale has garnered a few responses.  The first one is from my husband:

Wow.  I won't even give my brother in law a ride to work.

The second is from our friend Large:

I gave my brother in law the finger once.  In front of his kids.

We all give what we can.

Love,
Kristen

Being content is so boring

I googled "Entitled Bored People" and this came up

My sister Amy is the one I turn to for counsel on a regular basis.  Recently she returned my call and this is how it went.

Amy: I had a terrible day, I'm exhausted

Me: I'm totally jealous

Amy: Of my shitty day? Um, what?

Me: Yes, I have nothing to complain about it's totally boring. What can we giggle about?

Amy: Well, you can complain about not having anything to complain about.

(Insert cocktail fueled giggles here)

Problem solved.

Love,

Katie

Let Your New Life Begin Call 1-800- Get-Thin

After my recent bout of plastic surgery, (I'll update you all on of that later) I was down for about 6 weeks.....something like that, I can't be sure.

Anyway, you can't exercise because it raises your blood pressure, so instead I filled that time with cheeseburgers.  I put on exactly 15 lbs from the time of the surgery. They were baffled....almost impressed.  Like, how in the HELL were you able to pack on the pounds like that.  I blew up like a f*#king tick.

He told me I needed to take the weight back off for true results but not to freak out.  So, I've been going the healthy route: exercise, clean eating and of course, martinis.  I've dropped 10.  It's not happening fast enough. (Being over 40 sucks balls)

Perhaps it's time to throw in the towel and see if I can get a lap band.  I've seen it work wonders on some friends.  (Will they do that for 5-10lbs?)

Love,
Katie

19 kids and kill me

This show has always annoyed the hell out of me. And my daughters looove it. Obsessed. So when I found out that Josh was a child molester I thought in equal parts yes! I knew there had to be something wrong here and oh those poor girls. It really should have been ten percent outrage and 90 percent compassion. Apparently I am not a perfect person. But maybe when you make 19 people you will get a bad apple. See, here I go again.

Judging you,
Kristen

Dear daughters of mine

Just because you found it in the river does not mean that it is sea glass.

Even if you put it in a jar and call it a collection.

That is the bottom half of a forty.  Can we just please stop the charade?

Love,
Mommy

What's up us? Wednesdays

Katie and I don't lead scintillating lives (Katie does sometimes).  And we don't always have something to be proud of....but getting over 82,000 views on our little blog will do just fine.  Huge thanks to everyone that stops by and checks in.

Love,
Kristen

Deep thoughts

I tried to pay attention the other day to where my brain lands on a daily basis. And I don't know how to do a pie chart so I'm just going to make a list.

Why are they all screaming?
What am I going to do with that sofa?
What smells is that still the fridge?
They are going to yell at me at the groomers.
How come idtv has zero new programming?
I need to put the laundry away.
We need food.
How can I get out of making dinner?
How much longer?
Why does my computer hate me?
Shit, thank you notes.
What is Katie doing?
I need to start caring about my appearance.
That's not the fridge it's me.

Love,
Kristen