Fingers crossed

this is the bridge i just sold them

Considering the propaganda they are exposed to on social media, it is especially alarming how gullible my kids are.  And seeing that they are all teens now and will be going into the world soon I've been testing them to see what ridiculousness they will actually believe.  I'm not encouraged...

Me:  I ate all of the cupcakes.

Them:  You don't even like cupcakes!

Me: My Tiktok got a thousand likes.

Them: When did you get Tiktok?

Me: I made plans for us to go duck hunting on Saturday.

Them: Who else is going?

Me: I got a cat in the Acme parking lot.

Them: We are all allergic!

I string them along for a few but then I just say "I'm kidding" and they look at me annoyed and say "That's stupid."  Really?  That's stupid?

Love,

Kristen

Go Chiefs! JK go Niners! JK

Hey so I haven't really been posting.  You could say I've been hibernating.  Now, for reasons that I don't really understand, I've got the posting bug again.  Actually I can explain it like this.  I have felt more engaged with my people and surroundings which makes me think of writing stuff about those interactions.  Also randomly people have been reaching out and saying that I'm a writer and I should write.  Also I'm fifty.  So I was wondering if I should start a new blog since Superdum was about me and Katie and Tiffany and we are not a trio any longer.  But I could keep the blog and just go forward or I could change the name or start a whole new blog.  Anyway.  I'm not a big "listen to the universe" person although I have some stories about that.  I just want to know if I should continue to blog on Superdum or start a new blog.  That is all.

Love,
Kristen

PS I just previewed this and it's so meh which is not at all how I feel.

If you are not listening to yourself talk that is probs best

I was recently with a person who has a voice that makes my skin crawl and she is a talker.  Was thinking a bit about what it is about her voice.  It's maybe condescending or haughty I haven't really nailed the quality of her voice that is so maddening but it's the same whether we are talking politics or paint colors.  Then I thought I wonder what people think about the way I speak.  It wasn't a fun outcome.  I sound like a teenager from San Fernando.  I might throw in a few SAT words but for the most part it's all slang and abbreviations.  I call everyone babe and I say like like a lot.  What's worse?  She is a fake Kennedy and I am a fifty year old Valley Girl.  To be fair maybe that's why she is condescending.

Love,
Kristen

I'm a Weirdo Wednesdays

Oh crap!  Never mind I'll just go, sorry.

I think this is a form of social anxiety or maybe performance anxiety.  Anyway, you know when you are driving and you want to flash someone your lights to let them turn in front of you or let them know you just passed a cop?  I turn on my windshield wipers instead.  Every time.  And because I pull the thing toward me (to flash) it sprays my windshield as well.

If you happen to witness this, it's not what I meant to do.  I wanted to flash you my lights.

Love,

Kristen

 

You're not helping

I have this tick where I can't not try to finish peoples sentences.  I feel like I know what they want to say and I'm helping them out.  No one likes it.  But I can't stop myself.

For example:

My friend:  Remember that time when I fell...

Me:  ...into the drum kit?

Friend:   No..

Me:  ...off the bar stool?

Friend:  No..

Me:  That other time into the drum kit?  Wait!  Up the stairs?
Oh!  When you were walking up Fillmore?

That wasn't it either.  But you get the idea.  Its really annoying when people (me) try to guess where the story is going.

Love,
Kristen

I wanted to tell the end of the story but all I remember is crying laughing saying no one falls more than you.

Your slime is called what now? In Crazytown

Lulu:  Mom!!

Me to Maisy:  Why is she crying?

Maisy:  So I named my slime Fat Patty Went On a Walk and then Lulu said it was stupid so I licked her cookies.

Love,
Kristen

His honor

So pretty big news in our family, my brother was just appointed judge by the San Francisco County Superior Court.  Here is the official press photo.

But what I want you to know about Rick Darwin is that he is the most just person you could ever meet.  Everyone gets the benefit of the doubt.  He is thoughtful and fair and so hardworking as seen by his law career.  He has so many devoted friends and colleagues.  I just could not be more proud of him.

And he is also my brother, Ricky.

Congratulations San Francisco for getting this honorable man as a judge and congratulations, Rick for realizing another dream.

Love,
Kristen

Conversations in Crazytown

Mostly these posts are about them but I heard myself saying this...

Maisy:  Mom what are you doing?

Me:  Going through my jewelry.

Maisy:  Why?

Me:  Because I want to sell it and run away.

Maisy:  Why else?

Love,
Kristen

The best part of this exchange is "why else" like my reason is a given.

Where do you think you're going?

I say that to my kids sometimes.  Like, hey you didn't ask me so why do you have a foot out the door?  But this post is not about children for once.  It's about shopping.

I've noticed recently that whenever a friend mentions an upcoming trip or event that they need to dress for I'm always like "I've got just the thing!"  And I do!  Last minute wedding in Phili?  Got you.  Trip to Portofino?  Yep got the dresses the hats and the bags.  Funeral in Maine?  Please wear this.  I think my friends are equal parts psyched and alarmed because some of these items have never been worn by me.  Why do I have the perfect outfit for a bike tour of Napa?  It's kind of weird.

It has happened enough times now that I see that I buy clothes for other peoples lives.  In a world of primarily cut offs, t shirts, flip flops and hoodies I ask you.  Should I actually start wearing the clothes I love and look like a lunatic?  Or should I stop shopping and start donating?

I have everything needed to recreate these looks.  And yet I haven't changed my shorts and tee since Tuesday.

Love,
Kristen

Halsey

If you don't love this we can't be friends.

Love,
Kristen

Why bother asking

So I have a legitimately famous chef friend and I don't usually ask for her opinion about food (other things, yes) but I wanted to do a baked brie for something so this happened:

Me:  If I wanted to do a baked brie what should I put on that?  Something cheap and cheerful.

Her:  Either a marmalade or (I forget what she said here because it was so cheffy I couldn't even understand)

Me:  How about pepper jelly?

Her:  Sure.

circa we were knuckleheads

Me:  (the cry laughing emogi)

Her:  (internal shrug)

Love,
Kristen

Poopsie says oopsie

Anyone in my family can attest that I am head over heels for our puppy Tikkanen aka Poopsie Hopsalot aka Grandmas Slippers (that's the sound he makes when he walks) but he is a for real World Champion rug muncher.

I know it sounds gratuitous but he really does love munching rugs.

Love,

Kristen

Talkin' shop

You know how people go to work and talk about work stuff with work people?  For stay at home moms it's hard to relate for a few reasons.  Our hours are different (we work all of the hours) and our daily business doesn't always interest others.  My husband works at a bank and he tries to care about my job as a SAHM but we just don't speak the same work language anymore.  So I'm thinking about  putting our updates in his vernacular.  For example...

Him:  How is today going?

Me:  I'm long nonsense.  And short gratitude.  Analysts are saying feed them but I'm hedging with a few shares of Tic Tacs to buy me an hour.  Overall the market is looking bull(shit)ish.  How is everything with you?

Love,
Kristen

Game night! in Crazytown

back in the day jack killed it at headbands

We played kids Apples to Apples on Sunday and for once it brought out the best in our family.  We discussed the difference between literal and ironic.  We figured out who among us would choose "poop" when given the adjective "funny" while they had options like "clowns" and "funniness" (I am a straight up literal player and Lulu won all of my cards bc she played me like a fiddle.)  I think the highlight was when Maisy was choosing for the word "sad" and she passed on Raggedy Ann because "She's just a ginger trying to make her way in the world."

Love,
Kristen

Congrats

to us for hitting the 100,000 views mark!  Thanks to everyone that looks at our on line diary.  I know sometimes we go dark (Katie mainly, Tiff is a ghost) but our hearts are always superdum.

See you tomorrow.

Love,
Kristen

Super mom

I said this as a joke but my kids only get their own jokes so they were upset. Which makes me laugh more.

Me:  People.  Buckle up.  I don't want your bodies flying into me if we get into an accident.

Them:  Mom!  Why do you only care about yourself?

Love,
Kristen

Conversations in Crazytown

Maisy:  Mommy if I was a serial killer my nickname would be The Suspense so my victims would say, "The Suspense is killing me" and then we would both laugh right before I killed them.

You can't make this shit up.

Love,
Kristen

Fall/Winter fashion notes

I have always had a toe in the grandpa style fashion pool but this Fall I dove straight in.  My new favorite jeans look exactly like my dads' Levis.  I have mens' Wallabies on my feet.  With socks possibly showing.  Add to that the huge cardigans and quirky hats and I'm like a Walter Matthau impersonator.

I have this exact outfit

Love,

Kristen

P.S. Sorry Katie

Conversations in Crazytown

Just when you think you have nailed down the crazy one in the family.  This happens.

Jack:  Mommy I took a pregnancy test in Health.

Me:  And?

Jack:  I'm pregnant!

Me:  I'm going to be a grandma?

Jack:  Yes.  And he's going to stay in the shed.

Maisy:  Jack he should stay in the basement.

Jack:  Maisy, I didn't ask you.

Maisy:  I'm just saying.  It's warm down there and it's bigger...

Jack:  Mom!

Me:  Maisy stop.  It's Jack's baby.

Love,

Kristen

Conversations in Crazytown

Lulu:  Mommy I'm never going in the ocean.

Me:  Why because of the clinging jellies?

Lulu:  No there's this other kind..

Maisy:  They're called Portuguese Man Whores.

Me to myself:  That can't be right.

Lulu:  Man o' Wars.

Love,
Kristen